worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
