then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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