Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
