I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
