My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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