I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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