How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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