Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
