life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
