I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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