These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
third nipple confirmed
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
