yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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