Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
