We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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