FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
