When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
