Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
