I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
