escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
