...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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