nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
