WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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