I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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