Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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