Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
