There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
