if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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