finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize