There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
