If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize