dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
