Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
