She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
