you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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