Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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