could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.