if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...