love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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