Too much gin, very little bucket
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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