I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
