He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
