I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We have started to decorate penises.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
