Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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