Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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