No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
oh god was she eating orange peels again
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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