I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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