Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
