meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
