Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
