I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
