THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dicks are not precious.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
