so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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