im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
try to milk me bitch
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