how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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