so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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