I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
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If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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