the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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