JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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