i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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