I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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