jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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