Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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