I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
